Flash & Blink

Almost choked to death at my nephew’s birthday party!

So I have not been on any diet or exercise plan for about 4 months and I’m sure I have gained all the weight back that I have lost. I’m not sure if this post fits here on this blog or not because it’s not only about physical health.

My wife and I drove 4 hours north out of the city for this special event because of a long caravan of long weekend RVs heading towards Athabasca we decided to take the slightly longer road through Slave Lake. This was the first time I had been to Slave Lake since the fire…my first look at my childhood town since devastation struck. It really felt like rebuilding after a war. At least two places I lived as a child burned down and it was a little emotional for me.

Well we made it to Wabasca safe and sound but about 10 minutes into eating junk food and pizza…in the blink of an eye…I began choking on my food.  First I just tried to cough it out but that didn’t work, then I tried to breathe in and that didn’t work.  Panic set in…I jumped to my feet still trying to breathe. I completely forgot the international sign for choking to put my hands up to my neck. I think just wanted to get to business so I began hitting myself in my stomach. I think at this point everyone realized what was happening. Half a second later the main thought in my mind was “Why isn’t anyone trying to save me?” so I got mad! At that point I forced the words “come on” out my blocked wind pipe as to say “Come on some do the Heimlich maneuver on me”.

Suddenly, I could breathe! Getting angered and forcing the frustrated words out saved my own life. At this same moment the loving and forceful hands of my wife wrapped around my waist. I had to tell her and everyone at the party that I was ok before she really got to work on my stomach.

As I sat back down and everyone began talking about what happened and making jokes to lighten the mood I got to thinking.

First I thought of how embarrassed I was.

Then I thought of how I should not be embarrassed at all. These things happen and it was not my complete stupidity that put me in that situation. I don’t even remember what was happening just before I began to choke. Was I laughing at a joke? Was my nose plugged and I was trying to breathe through my mouth as I ate? Was I talking with my mouth full?

Next I thought of what my last words would have been. “Come on you guys!” said angrily at friends and family as if my last “fuck you” and thanks for not being there for me. I must be some sort of real f-ing asshole with an elitist view of the world and people around me. Is it normal for someone to spend their whole life trying to be humble? Sometimes I really do feel like I’m surrounded by morons that lack common sense. Why the hell do people want to be my friend anyway? I know I wouldn’t want a friend like me always telling me there is a better way to do things! I keep attributing my elitism and arrogance to my ability to learn from other people mistakes. I will admit I got in my share of trouble but having to grow up faster the way I did in a divorced household I feel like I learn a useful way of avoiding pain.

No wonder I can’t relate to people and I’m socially awkward in small group settings. As an arrogant elitist I’m more comfortable in front of 500 people telling them “the way it is”. I feel like a pissed of babysitter “Thanks for the job but you raised you kids wrong and I’ll have them all fixed by the time you get home!” So just thinking and writing about these things again makes me think of how I must work harder to be humble.

I’m sorry to say but my final thoughts on this whole choking business are that my life did not flash before my eyes. No filmstrip of life started up and no closing song. You could say that maybe I was not close enough to death since the whole episode was about 10-15 seconds and I sure it would take me at least a minute of no breathing to die. Oxygen loss to my brain had not started at this point so I could explain away not seeing the final credits do to the fact that my brain was not in peril so not firing random thoughts trying to find a way to save my life. My brain decided to get mad!

Maybe as a completely non-religious person I will not get the life filmstrip upon my death. I don’t believe in heaven, hell, miracles, or any form of God and as I get older my thoughts on this topic get more solidified. Faith is slowly fading from my vocabulary in the religious sense. I can have faith that someone will do or not do what they said they would but faith in a God and any sort of afterlife feels really absurd to me. This is just another reason for me to be elitist and arrogant so I must work harder to be humble.

I respect each person’s choice or duty to believe in their individual religions and I will always fight for people to have the freedom to worship how they please as long as it does not affect other people’s ability to believe and worship in something else.

Can an arrogant elitist who can’t chew his food help to save the human race and the planet Earth?

New Check List

1) Chew food properly

2) Be MORE humble

3) Get in shape

4) Spend time with my wife and sometimes other loved ones

5) Respect and learn from diversity

6) Leave a legacy of love and helpfulness

-Ian

Week 14 Day 7: After the Anger

So…

I just went on a long walk with my wife and we had a chance to talk about things.

Really we did have a good weekend but the frustration I had with cheating made my weekend not so go. I think my general negative experience I’m having with my life right now is making it hard for me to enjoy things that are good.

We did go Geocaching (Connect with me! Username: IanHopfe) this weekend! We didn’t find the cache closest to our house but I had fun and I think my wife would have had more fun if we remembered the bug spray!

Now, I have to fill out my stupid Food Journal…really what the hell is with this food journaling BS? I don’t understand how writing down what I had to eat will help my already anguished mental state about cheating.

Sorry there is still some frustration coming through.

Things should get better now that I had a great talk and walk with my wife!

-Ian

Week 13 Day 6: First Kettle Bell Workout!

Yesterday my wife convinced me to go to the pool again...don't get me wrong I love the pool! I don't like that there has to be annoying people there! Creepy guys checking out my wife and then the same creepy guys walking around naked in the change room!

Well she wanted to spend some time on the elliptical so I brought by copy of The 4-Hour Body and headed to the stretching dumbbell area on the second floor of the pool. I read over the section on kettle bells and started my workout.

I started with the 20 pound kettle bell like 4HB recommends. The first set of 25 was not that hard! I almost thought I should get a heaver kettle bell for the second set but decided not to. Good thing...the second set was harder I had to really push out the last 2 and started to lose my form for the last 4.

The third set was OK till about 15 and then it got fun! I started losing my form at about 17 and really had to concentrate for the rest. The last 5 were a real challenge and made me feel like I did a great workout.

Took me about 15 minutes from start to finish with about 3 minutes rest between sets.

I plan to do it again sometime half way through the week maybe Thursday if my legs feel up to it. My legs were like Jello after the workout! I had some fun getting down the stairs to the basement to see my wife. Then even more fun trying to get up the stairs!

Bottom line...I enjoyed the workout and will be trying to continue!

-Ian

Week 10 Day 7: Fast Food Routine

So we get tired of cooking often because we both grew up in homes where take out or restaurant eating was normal. After I became and adult before I met my wife I normally had 2 meals per day the first was my junk food “dieing of hunger” meal about 2 to 4pm. My second meal of the day was around 8 to 10pm and it was a like 2 or 3 meals in one from the local Burger Baron.

Work days we have discovered that we can stay on plan eating our balanced meals and snacks. By the weekend we seem to be exhausted of cooking and prepping meals for the next day. This exhaustion and the erratic weekend schedules hunger sets in when we are out and all bets are off! It is so important to build a routine and stick to it when trying to lose weight.

You should also think about a backup plan. If you get off routine then you need something to get you back on plan. I have been doing very well against my cravings for chocolate almonds by having a chocolate smoothie now and again in place of a meal or snack.

I don't think my chocolate addiction is my main weakness any more. I can't stand to see my wife upset about being hungry or having cravings. I have a very hard time being strong and playing the tough or mean guy to say no to her. If I'm in the mood to cook it's not so bad but if I don't want to cook I give in and we go off plan. She has told me several times that she appreciates it when I'm strong when she is not but I still have problems. I'm going to work on this and see what happens.

We cheated twice this weekend and I gained 5 pounds...I'm so sad, mad but mostly ashamed. I don't every remember being skinny. Last time I was skinny I think I was in grade 1 so about 1984...what happened to that skinny little kid? I don't know how I got here. I don't really understand the events that created the fat kid that became the fat teen that became the fat adult. I have been trying to lose weight since I was a teen and it's taken me this long to figure it out but now I keep sabotaging my chances.

Me in 1983 or 1984, My first fish in Slave Lake.

-Ian

Week 2 - Day 4: 5000 Steps

 So I wanted to tell you about the exercise the program is having us do…not much right now.

For the first week they didn’t want us doing much at all as we did the detox phase of the program. This is because after a day or two we would feel tired and possibly have headaches or a foggy brain. The toxins in our bodies were being released at this point helping to improve our liver function and the function of our body in general. They really stressed the need to drink a lot of water during this phase to help flush our systems.

Not really a fun time and certainly not a good time to begin a hard core exercise routine. I spent too much time trying not to give in to my chocolate and ice cream addictions in no way would I have had the ability to concentrate on exercise.

This week as we started phase to we started taking metabolism boosting vitamins, we got pedometers and a Yoga DVD. The vitamins are giving us our energy back thank goodness! They didn’t tell us to start using the Yoga DVD yet but they did tell us to use the pedometers.

My pedometer reading today!

5000 steps per day is the first goal they gave us. Sounds like I lot and my wife though she would have trouble getting to that but I thought it wouldn’t really be that hard. Well it turns out my wife is getting 6000 to 7000 steps per day easy making me look very bad. I’m barely getting over 4000 steps on days we don’t go shopping and just under 5000 on shopping days.

I have decided I need to add some extra steps somehow:

• Short walk a lunch time
• Short walk during my 15min brakes
• Short walk right after work because I have about 5-10min I have to kill so I don’t show up to soon to pick up my wife from her work.

If anyone has any simple ideas please post a comment!

Today I feel good but at our visit to the clinic today I only lost 1lbs and my wife stayed the same. I think maybe it’s our activity level and maybe a few small changes we can make in our food. I’m trying to avoid any changes to our food so more activity would be better.

Have a great day,

Ian

First Week Update

The first week and a half was HELL!

Sorry for not keeping you updated on a daily bases as was my plan but if you read on you will see why the long period between posts.

The First few days were crazy!

The program we joined gives you massive amounts of high quality vitamins all the time but the first week is the detox phase. In detox our bodies begin to expel all the built up toxins in our body and jump start proper organ processes. This is all about getting ready for long team weight loss with a better running body.

So my wife and I have both started this program and that’s a good thing because one person without the help of their spouse will have a hard time. Grocery shopping and cooking, more grocery shopping and a lot more cooking…this is taking a very large amount of time and effort to make this kind of change. Especially when we only cooked maybe twice a week at home and the rest of the time we ate out. Fast food mainly on the way home…we love the Wendy’s Triple Baconator!

I now know what it is like to be a cave man! Anytime I’m not a work I’m shopping for food or cooking food we are spending all our time just trying to stay alive just like the cave men and hunter gatherers of the past.

To make things worse in the first few days of detox you get tired! It was so hard to keep motivated to make that next meal or snack. 8 hours of work, visit to the weight loss clinic at least 3 times per week for at least an hour for coaching, 1-2 hours of shopping after each visit to the clinic finally 1-2 hours cooking supper making snacks and lunch for the next day. By the time you’re done it’s 9 or 10 time for bed.

Being healthy and eating right is a hard job. Changes like this can’t happen overnight and especially with no help if you’re trying to lose weight on your own.

Thank god for the coaching sessions and the feeling of accountability I’m getting. We have to track all our food, wear our pedometer all day and report back to our coaches where we get weighed every time we visit and measured every week.

They help us plan our meals and print us off a shopping list for our meals. This is a great thing but when you don’t have all the basic ingredients in your home already the first few days are very expensive for shopping. We are buying strange oils and spices we would never think to buy. A big problem we had the first week was trying to buy the proper amounts. A regular person doesn’t have a metric to imperial conversion calculator on them at the store but we do now.

My wife downloaded a great app for her iPhone. Without the app we were buying very large portions of food compared to what they were allowing us to eat in the mail plans. You don’t think right…you buy what you would normally have bought thinking it would be about the same. WRONG

After a week our shopping trips are faster and cheaper because we know what we want and how much. Why pay for something you won’t use?

We are still adjusting to the lifestyle of healthy balanced eating and are 3 days into week two.

Week two we start a 28 day metabolic booster phase to help bring up our energy and burning fat faster. They are getting us to concentrate more on beginning some basic activity like trying to walk 5,000 steps per day. Nothing extreme because how many obese people you know that like or can jog 5km each morning? During the second phase we should continue to lose weight at a fast pace.

Incidentally the program we started guarantees 2lbs loss every week! For the price we paid it better work. We had a few days of buyer’s remorse about the amount of money we spent but in the end nothing else we were doing was working in fact we each gained 40-60lbs since we got married in 2010. The price is a BIG motivator for me!

Anytime I think I’m going to brake and cheat on the program I think of the money. I money we spent was the start of our savings to buy a house when we start having a family but because we’re both over weight we can’t seem to get pregnant so losing the weight and becoming more healthy is more important to us right now.

So…What did I lose in the first week?????

Monday April 25: 391lbs

Monday May 2: 375lbs

In my first week alone I lost 16lbs and my wife lost 6lbs but everyone know men lose faster and I have more to lose anyway.

We were supposed to visit the weight lose clinic tonight but we needed some sort of break in the pattern of work, clinic, cook, eat, shop, sleep, work, clinic, cook, eat, shop, sleep and so on. So tonight we came home cooked and eat only! My wife has time to visit a friend and I had time to post this blog!

Now for some parting notes:

• I feel like I have a bit more energy but nothing like wanting to run around the block.
• I can’t really notice the 16lbs loss at this point because I’m such a big guy. I don’t think I will notice till I’m down 30 or 40lbs.
• I do feel optimistic! This will work for us and that is giving me extra strength to continue.
• I will try my best to post something every day and I do plan to fill in the other pages of my blog when I get a chance.

Have a great day,

Ian

The Night Before

It is about 11:30pm the night before my wife and I start our new diet...new life...and I'm scared.

We spent a very large amount of money to try a new program developed by one of those weight loss clinics. At this point I will not be telling you what clinic we are working with to lose weight. All I can say is it seems like a safe program that doesn't starve you to death!

I have tried for so long to be skinny and fit that it's hard to imagine what I will look like skinny. I have been fat most of my life since I was a teenager. I was the fat kid in school and now I'm that fat guy at work.

I'm hoping that with the support of my wife who is also struggling with weight and this new program we can become the skinny and happy people we deserve to be. I love my wife so much and all that matters to me is to have children with her and have a long happy life with them.

I know a "Guy" is not scared and doesn't show emotion but when you come to what feels like the last resort or the last chance for happiness image is the least of my worries.

From now on I promise to try to be more upbeat and manly!

So, we hard our last supper...last party...last binge...last hurrah  so to speak this past weekend. We ate our favorite foods and even took an amazing last minute trip to the Rockie Mountains! This was a near perfect weekend with just my wife and I. We even did some hiking that I know I will pay for tomorrow.  The trip through the mountains was amazing because we had perfect weather and it's still the off season the tourists were few.

Even if this weight loss program fails the weekend was amazing and worth every penny!